Some friendships thrive on deep talks and shared memories — others survive on puns, playful roasting, and the kind of inside jokes that never get old. If you want quick, crowd-pleasing lines, this collection has something for every mood.
Use these funny jokes to tell your friends when you need to break the ice, brighten a dull moment, or just make people laugh until they snort. You’ll find short one-liners, classic dad jokes, corny gems, and a few delightfully bad jokes to annoy your crew.
Quick overview: 10 quick one-liners, dad jokes, corny classics, knock-knocks, and cheesy puns — pick the style that fits the room. Bookmark your favorites or share them in a group chat and keep the laughs coming.
How to use this list: pick your vibe, read the room, and drop a joke at the perfect moment for maximum laughs.
Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends
What you'll find: ten quick jokes perfect for texts, small talk, and breaking the ice.
I told my boss three companies were after me. He asked which ones — I said gas, electric, and water.
I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He asked, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? One needs tweetment, the other needs oinkment.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I’m on a seafood diet — I see food and I eat it.
I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man? Aluminum Man foils their plans.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. He said his summer was pretty good too.
I’m not into spring cleaning. Or summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
Why shouldn’t you fundraise for marathons? They just take the money and run.
Corny Jokes Your Friends Will Secretly Love
Corny one-liners are perfect for groans, eye-rolls, and those honest little laughs that follow.
My cat applied for a job — she said she has nine lives of experience.
I told my suitcase we weren’t going on vacation. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Why did the computer go to therapy? Too many unresolved issues.
I asked the librarian for books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Why were the fish’s grades bad? They were below sea level.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It didn’t complain — it just let out a little wine.
Why don’t skeletons trick-or-treat? They have no body to go with.
I bought a pen that only writes compliments — it’s great for boosting someone’s day.
I started a club for people who cancel plans. No one shows up.
I told my books to stop falling over. They said they can’t shelf their emotions.
My alarm clock always goes off when I’m happiest — bad timing, as always.
Funniest Jokes to Keep Everyone Laughing
These pun-packed lines work great at parties, group chats, or coffee breaks.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
What does a spy do when he’s cold? He goes undercover.
I used to run a dating service for chickens — I struggled to make hens meet.
How did the telephone propose? It gave her a ring.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over? Traffic jam.
I opened a detective agency for missing socks. Case still unsolved.
I tried to take a picture on a foggy day — I mist my chance.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked.
Knock-Knock Jokes for Adults
Best used in small groups with good timing.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in — we brought wine.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Delivery. Delivery who? Delivery guy who’s been ringing your bell for five minutes.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? Tank you — you’re welcome.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you — and I’m not even sorry.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to hear another one?
Dad Jokes Everyone Pretends to Hate
Short, predictable, and painfully funny.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet — I don’t know Y.
I bought a ceiling fan. He just stands there clapping.
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because over the bay they’d be bagels.
I used to hate facial hair. Then it grew on me.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It was two-tired.
I tried to start a hide-and-seek team. Good players are hard to find.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind — it’s tearable.
Funny One-Liners
Short, confident, and perfect for texts or captions.
My wallet is like an onion — it makes me cry.
If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be invisible.
Adulting is soup, and I am a fork.
Running late should count as cardio.
I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.
